Llama-Rama 2 Electric Boogaloo

Hey Jarrod, you know the catchy chorus to that song ‘Electric Avenue?’ Ok, well instead of singing the correct lyrics (‘we’re gonna rock on to Elec-tric Avenue…’) I want you to try humming ‘it’s Llama-Rama 2 Elec-tric Boogaloo.’ Now try getting that out of your head. You can’t. It’s there forever, like 1980’s funk music herpes. You are most welcome!

As you have no doubt deduced from the title, we’re back, with the long awaited (ok… about seven months–but to be fair, that period away from the llamas literally felt like the time that lapsed between Zoolander films) where were we? oh yes, back, with the long awaited sequel to last year’s Llama-Rama.

You don’t see that every day!

When we did our llama trek last year (link here: Llama Rama The Original should you need a refresher) we were given the option of hiking through the Macedon Ranges, or hiking the historic Trentham Rail Trail with a pub lunch. We chose the Macedon Ranges walk, and as you’ll remember/read we had a fantastic time. In fact, we were positively fizzing about coming back to do another llama trek. We said overwrought goodbyes to our new llama friends, promised we would return and begged them not to forget us. Soldiers were bid less angsty farewells going off to war.

I will re-mem-ber you. Will you re-mem-ber me?

If you’d done the trek you would understand. So, we keep the Rail Trail option up our sleeve and start plotting our next trip up the Calder. Finally our three calendars and Mark’s align and we lock in a date, start perusing the pub menu on line, and commence the most important task of all–nailing down our llama trekking active wear options. Why they do not have a specific section for this in Lorna Jane or Lululemon is beyond me.

Sad but true confession: I also get a haircut the day before the trek and briefly wonder if my old llama, Chilli will notice.

You can find all the information you need about Hanging Rock Llama treks on their facebook page: HangingRockLlamasFacebook. It’s definitely worth liking the facebook page, if only to ensure your Facebook feed is gets its requisite quota of adorable llama photos each week.

You need less bullshit Facebook quiz results on your news feed and more of me.

The Rail Trail hike costs just $50 per person, plus the cost of your pub lunch at the Radio Springs Hotel in Lyonville. And given we are with Mark from 9:30am till around 4pm, and hike a full 16km with the llamas, well, unless you have time travelled from the 1970’s and expect a loaf of bread to cost 25 cents, you’ll agree that’s a complete bargain. (Stats walked courtesy of Evie’s fitbit)

We depart Melbourne bright and early at 8am. Our meeting point for the trek is the old Trentham Railway Station. Llamas at a train station!! Can you imagine?? I would give anything to hear a public transport loudspeaker announcing ‘Ladies and gentlemen, we regret to inform you that services on the Daylesford line have been interrupted and trains between Daylesford and Carlesruhe have been replaced by llamas. That’s right, llamas’

Quaintness at no extra charge.

Sadly this is not likely to happen as the station closed in 1978. So now it just serves as a llama rendezvous point.

Probably still cleaner than the 5:50pm to Craigieburn

The llamas (and Mark) are ready waiting for us at the train station when we arrive. They’re playing it cool, we are playing it anything but.

FANCY MEETING YOU HERE!

We have the same little llama foursome as we did on our last trek: Mark with his favourite Warrego, Evie with cheeky pretty boy Sonny, Lauren with the ever ravenous, Trump-locked Jaro; and I have been reunited once more with the adorably speckled, long lashed Chilli.

And guys, he remembers me. He absolutely, unequivocally does. How do I know? Because I say to him “Chilli! Chilli, it’s me, Megan. If you remember me, grunt indifferently and look away” And he does precisely that…

Looking indifferently away from me exactly as instructed!

Mark informs us that there’s been some escalating tension b/w some the boys since we last met. And apparently Sonny and Jaro have had a huge fight in the trailer en route to Trentham. Sonny is sporting a mark on his neck and the entire interior of the trailer is full of llama spit. Who knows what happened? I’ve travelled in cars with warring siblings in the back seat many a time….maybe it was a game of Corners that got wildly out of hand. We could do proper crime scene analysis and assess llama spit spatter patterns and DNA, but frankly it’s gross and it smells.

All we know is this guy isn’t saying a word without his lawyer present:

I know my rights, I ain’t saying nuthin.

And look at this lil face!

Trouble? Me? *bats eyeslashes*

We declare it unsolvable, a cold case, if you like, and decide to keep Sonny and Jaro at least a llama apart for the duration of the trek #peacekeepingmission.

It’s too chilly to stand still for long, so we load the panniers onto the llamas Mark loads the panniers onto the llamas while we take a billion photos, and strap on the cumbersome gear we need to carry ourselves (ie. mobile phones and little sporrans of llama treats). And we’re on our way.

We’re off! How long till lunch, now?

The Rail Trail is a much quieter walk than the trek we did in Macedon. In contrast to Macedon–where we were stopped every few hundred metres by astounded bushwalkers, (“LLAMAS! Well, you don’t see that every day!”) we barely come across a soul. It’s cloudy, quiet and peaceful under the canopy of the trees. Not a sound but the birds, your footsteps…..and the incessant grunting of Chilli and Jaro.

The guys are exactly as we remembered them. Sonny is as fresh as ever:

Sonny, stop it, I’m a married woman. Alright, only a little bit married….

Jaro is as unabashedly hungry as ever.

Do you SEE what I have to put up with?

Out of the hand, acceptable. Out of the pouch near my crotch, no.

and Chilli is as vocal as ever. Observe, this little video of him doing what I call Greating: simultaneous grunting and eating. A behaviour usually only observed in Master Chef judges in their natural habitat. I particularly enjoy the 9sec and 14sec marks where it’s as though he goes “wait, are you filming this?” then obviously decides Meh, tbh, Don’t Even Care

We haven’t bought any snacks with us so we are suitably ravenous when we get to the Radio Springs Pub for lunch. We tie up the llamas to a fence railing where they can gorge themselves silly on native grasses and we head inside.

Hope they’re enjoying that grass outside….

And we gorge on sweet potato and bacon croquettes, chicken liver pate and toasted sourdough, enormous pork parmigiana, slow cooked lamb risotto, spiced eggplant pilaf and a steak the likes of which I have not seen since the opening credits on The Flintstones. All washed down with pinot noir and craft beers. I think we got the slightly better deal.

A little damp underfoot

Then it’s time for the trip back. There’s been some rain while we were gormandizing indoors by an open fire so it’s a bit slippier going underfoot. Around puddles (or right through them enthusiastically, thanks Chilli!), over bridges…..

Sonny contemplating some shit stirring…

through the grass.

Dress code when you’re with a speckly llama? Polka dots.

The cold, damp conditions prove a perfect breeding ground for mushrooms that look like props for a children’s fairy garden.

But they’re too CUTE to be deadly?

The damp is also breeding ground for something slightly less adorable: both Lauren and Mark discover when we arrive back at the starting point that they’ve each brought back some leeches on their lower legs (swoon, and not in a good way). Contrary to what you may have heard, Lauren is not in fact a character in a BBC period drama fighting The Consumption by bloodletting, so the leeches were very unwelcome little hitchhikers. And disposed of accordingly.

We arrive back at the station pleasantly exhausted and thoroughly content. Panniers off, last llama treats doled out, final photos taken. And it looks like they’re finding the goodbyes as hard as we are.

Not crying, just have something in my eye *looks away hurriedly

I can’t recommend a day hiking with these beautiful guys highly enough but as always, will throw it across to you. Trekking the Trentham Rail Trail with llamas: Jarrod, would you go there?

Looking towards me. Progress.